News

Mylene S. Gumarao, Ph.D

While parenting in the 21st century is as rewarding as ever, the pervasive influence of digital technology presents significant challenges and threats.

This 21st-century parenting presents unique advantages, such as children's enhanced ability to process information rapidly, access vast knowledge through online resources, and participate in collaborative learning. However, these very strengths also introduce complex considerations for parents.

Children now tend to have reduced long-term information retention, easily get distracted from deep engagement, and may develop underdeveloped social skills due to over-reliance on digital interactions.

What role does effective parenting play in this situation? What does effective parenting mean?

Effective parenting is a method of raising children that enhances their potential to become the most capable adults they can be.

Effective parenting also involves paying attention to kids' mental health because it affects their physical health and various areas of their lives, like relationships, self-esteem, and focus. On top of this, mental health can lead to a general sense of well-being.

Thus, parents need to learn how to recognize various mental health issues in their children, such as anxiety about school performance, challenges in relationships with parents and teachers, unhealthy peer pressure, and common developmental adjustment problems. It also involves school phobia, coping with death and separation, depression, feelings of being overwhelmed, substance use, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, concerns about sexuality, facing difficult decisions, and contemplating dropping out of school.

Recognizing mental health issues is not enough; it is also essential to identify the factors that affect children's mental health. Common examples include broken homes, poverty, lack of discipline, and insufficient love, care, and affection. Other contributing factors can be partial treatment of a child, overcrowded living conditions, and favoritism. Additionally, the location of schools, lack of recreational activities or facilities, experiences of bullying, identity crises, and the emotional climate within schools also play significant roles in influencing mental health.

The author of the article "Youth Mental Health," published by Mental Health America, states, "Good mental health allows children to think clearly and develop self-confidence, high self-esteem, and a healthy emotional outlook on life."

Beyond the basic necessities for maintaining good mental health, such as nutritious food, adequate sleep, exercise, and a healthy living environment, there are also important intangible factors to consider. These include the need for unconditional love from the family, appropriate guidance and discipline, and a safe and secure environment. Furthermore, children require opportunities to boost their self-confidence and self-esteem, play with their peers, and receive support and encouragement from their teachers.

Unconditional love for children should be the foundation of family life, emphasizing security and acceptance. This love is not dependent on their achievements and remains constant even when they make mistakes or experience failures. In response to this affection, children will develop confidence.

How can parents nurture their children's confidence and self-esteem? They should offer constant praise for every good deed and milestone, help set realistic goals, and allow them to honestly see the consequences of their failures and mistakes.

If children make mistakes, parents should avoid using sarcastic remarks. Instead, they should find out how the children feel and encourage them to strive for their best next time.

In guiding and disciplining a child, here are more suggestions on guidance and discipline:

Parents should be firm but kind. They should set realistic expectations and let the children understand what behaviors are acceptable and what are not. They should know that the rules apply every time, not just when a parent is in a particular mood.

Parents should set a good example. Children are incredibly observant. They constantly watch and imitate the behaviors of the adults around them, especially their parents.

When the child makes mistakes, parents should only criticize the behavior, not the child. Say, "What you just did is bad," rather than, "You are a bad boy or girl."

Avoid nagging, threats, and bribery. Children will eventually get numbed to this. Moreover, it only creates resentment and frustration in both the parent and the child.

In bribing children, they will only behave when there's a reward. They even tend to manipulate situations for personal gain.

During heated moments, parents should talk about their feelings. Human as they are, parents naturally lose their tempers at times. However, it's important to remember that instead of just blowing off steam, they should talk about their feelings regarding what happened. If they realize they are wrong, parents should learn how to apologize. Apologizing doesn't make children despise them; in fact, it can earn them respect.

Now, going back to navigating kids' mental health in this digital age, parents should recognize the positive aspects of technology. They can enhance learning opportunities by utilizing educational apps and online resources. They may also encourage children to maintain connections with friends and family, promoting social relationships. Additionally, they can motivate kids to show and express their creativity through visual and digital arts.

While allowing children to learn virtually, parents should set healthy boundaries. They should establish limits on screen time and encourage offline activities such as sports, arts, and family time. On top of these, parents can monitor their children's online activities through certain apps without invading their privacy.

In navigating the complexities of 21st-century parenting, ensuring healthy mental development requires a multifaceted approach. By embracing the positive aspects of technology while setting firm boundaries, providing unconditional love, and employing effective discipline, parents can equip their children with the resilience and skills necessary to thrive.

By prioritizing children's mental well-being, parents invest in a future where the children possess the confidence and emotional balance to go through the challenges and opportunities of our ever-evolving world.

(To be continued...)

Dr. Mylene Gumarao, program chair for the graduate psychology program at Adventist University of the Philippines, presented this topic at the Family Ministries Leadership Training in Cebu City on March 7, 2025.